Thursday, January 22, 2009

From Mama Beaj to Nanny B to Bj Hickman, Interventionist...what a year!

Well, this blog turned out to be about like every journal I ever started. Two pages in, I lose interest....

It's been over a year since I posted last, and my what a year it's been!

I started out 2008 doing trade shows with my friend, Trish, who was launching a new business called Island Living Designs. We had so much fun, and the business has great promise. But as we all know, it turned out to be a bad year to try to grow a business!

In February, I came home from a trade show in Orlando. It just happened to be David's birthday. He picked me up at the airport and told me we were meeting Chad & Lyndsea at Ruby's for lunch. When we got there, they were waiting in their car in the parking lot. As Lynds came around the front of the car, the wind caught her top, and she smoothed it with her hand across her tummy the way a pregnant mom does. I instantly thought, "Oh my gosh, she's pregnant."

She handed David a small present, and when he opened it, we saw our sweet little granddaughter for the first time. The gift was a copy of her first sonogram with a cartoon bubble that said, "Happy Birthday, Grandpa" coming from the little peanut. Unlike Rachel, I could see it!!!

We went to dinner at Captain Jack's for David's birthday later that week. That's when Chad & Lynds got to tell Josh & Lacey they were going to be an uncle & aunt.

In April, we headed out to Victorville to watch our Joshua walk across the stage again, this time with his paramedic certification. Such an exciting time, and such a RELIEF to be finally done and able to spend time with Lacey and the rest of the family. It had been such a long journey, and I'm so proud of how committed he was to the whole process. I don't think anyone outside of the field knows what a firefighter/paramedic goes through to get to their career. It's truly grueling.

Lyndsea's pregnancy was so much fun. I loved my pregnancies, and watching Lyndsea go through that experience brought back all the feelings and emotions I had experienced as a young mom. Lynds loved it too, and her pregnancy mirrored mine almost exactly, including how she carried the baby. While I was in Chicago for a show with Trish, David was at Fidler with the kids watching a Laker game. During an exciting moment, the boys yelled and the baby leapt for the first time.

Then on Mother's Day, we had our traditional brunch with Chad's mom and sister at West Bay Cafe in Sunset Beach. David and I went with the kids to Fidler. Josie came over to hang out, and while the guys watched Transformers, the girls hung out in the guest room/soon-to-be-nursery going over details for Josie's June wedding. Earlier we'd been talking about names for the baby. Marley (after Bob) was out, and it was pretty much down to Olivia, Miah, and Dylan (after Bob).

Lyndsea was lying back on the bed with 'bellyphones' on her tummy. The baby was listening to Bob Dylan when suddenly Lynds jumped and said, "Oh my gosh! Did you see that?!" The baby had bumped and it was visible on the outside for the first time. We started yelling for Chad to come in there, and he put his hand on her belly. The following exchange is a story this baby will hear throughout her life:

Lyndsea: "She's listening to Bob!" Chad: "Are we going to have to name her Marley?" Lyndsea: "No! Dylan!"

Chad: "What song?" Lyndsea: " 'How Does It Feel?' "

We were all busting up at that! And of course, you all know by now, Dylan is her name. It was such a prophetic moment. I mean, Lynds was just clarifying it was Bob Dylan, not Bob Marley. And seriously? 'How Does It Feel?' Oh, it felt amazing.

They got through summer with a blow-up pool to soak in when the heat was just too much. We had lots of fun times together as a family, watching her belly grow. And Lynds would willingly show it to any of our friends. It was great. Fourth of July, everyone sat around waiting to feel her move.

Lynds had three showers and got pretty much everything a growing family could possibly need. Lacey and Rayanne hosted a beautiful and so so fun girls affair at Jenny's house. It was perfect! And so good to see Jayelle again after so many years.

Josie threw a couples shower in the back yard at Fidler. This was a blast. Tons of skaters, and the highlight of the day was the onesie-painting event. We provided the onesies and fabric pens, and the guests applied their talents. Dylan ended up with over 30 one-of-a-kind pieces of art to wear!

September 10 - 3:35am - my phone rings. I have distinctive rings set up for when my kids and David call, so I instantly knew it was Lynds. I thought she'd tell me she'd had the first signs of labor. First thing I hear when I answer, "My water broke." They were already on their way to the hospital. I threw some stuff in a bag, threw on some clothes, and headed to Hoag. I can't even describe to you what it felt like to make that drive.

I had the privilege of being with Chad and Lyndsea in the birthing room during labor. My little girl has always had an inordinate fear of pain. When she was young, getting a shot took two nurses, me and a doctor to hold her down. You would have thought we were torturing her. She's never really suffered any serious injuries so she had developed this perception of pain that didn't truly match what she was actually feeling. Despite this, she had decided, based on what she and Chad felt was best for the baby, that she would do a natural childbirth if she could possibly stand it. She was prepared to accept an epidural if it got too difficult but she wanted to try without it.

Her real contractions...the ones she could really feel...started about 7:25am. Dylan was born at 5:04pm. Lyndsea's contractions were 2 minutes apart the ENTIRE TIME. With each contraction, she closed her eyes, relaxed her body, and breathed through it. Chad and I held her hand, and when she needed it rubbed her back. At some point, that got uncomfortable for her but she always managed to get through the contractions better if she could just hold our hand. I really enjoyed working side by side with Chad. What a precious experience for me. The environment was serene. Lynds never made a sound. She was exhausted by noon but with each contraction, she just breathed through it. When she seemed to not be able to focus, we would talk to her and you could visibly see her gain control of the pain and follow through. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

The nurses and doctors were absolutely blown away. Lynds became quite notorious on the floor. When the baby nurse came in to prepare the area for her arrival, she looked at Lyndsea going through a contraction, then looked at the nurses who had been attending her all day, and said, "Oh my gosh." "WE TOLD YOU!" the other nurses replied.

At around 3pm, she was dilated to an 8 or 9 but the baby was posterior. The doctor came in and asked if she wanted to try pushing to see if the baby would turn on her own. Knowing that things can happen very quickly once you start pushing, I made my exit. The kids had decided they wanted to be alone together to bring their baby into the world. The next two hours felt like an eternity. That was the most difficult part but Chad says Lyndsea continued through it with the same stoic attitude.

When Chad finally came out and got us to meet our little pink bundle of Asian-eyed joy (yeah, she looked TOTALLY Asian at first), she was bombarded with an entourage: David & I, Chris (Gramma C), Josh and Lacey, Kelly, Emily, Toni, Rayanne, Blake, Crissy, Uncle Dude, and even Heidi and Charlie showed up (since Gramma was in ICU at the time). It was like the paparazzi had arrived. She was surrounded by flashing cameras. Lynds looked amazing.

Despite the fact this baby had long ago picked her own name, Chad and Lynds were still struggling with labeling her. We accompanied them to her floor before we left them for their first night together with their baby girl. The nurse in her room greeted Lynds by saying, "I've heard all about you!"

The next morning Lyndsea called me to tell me a nurse had come in and asked her what the baby's name was going to be so they could put it on her birth certificate. Not until then did they finally decide she was to be Dylan B Tim Tim. Lynds had always planned on giving her first daughter my mom's name (Bea) for a middle name. But Chad suggested that if she shortened it to just B, she could honor David's mom (Betty) as well. It wasn't until they told Chad's mom that they learned his grandmother, whose name was Elizabeth, had also gone by Betty.

Sometimes God is subtle about His presence. Other times, He reveals Himself so blatantly that you can't possibly deny it. There was a picture in their hospital room of a cove in Laguna that you could actually see from their window. In that cove was where Chad was baptized as a young boy! The day after Dylan was born, Chad went down to the nursery with Dylan for her hearing test. The older nurse who was performing the test said, "I had a Tim Tim baby many years ago. That's the only other time I've ever seen that name." Chad said, "Was it here at Hoag?" The nurse replied that she'd been at Hoag 30 years and it was in her earlier years there. Turns out it had to have been Chad.

So everything since then has been Dylan Dylan Dylan. She has flipped our little world upside down. We are so smitten with her, it's just plain stupid. Lynds is an incredible mama, and Chad her equal as a dad. Dylan knows she is adored, and adores her parents in return. You can go to Dylan's blog to see everything she's done in her little five and a half month life so far.

In the meantime, while we've been loving on her, I launched a new career. Years ago, I went to school - mostly for fun - to get my certification as an Addictions Specialist. I ran a women's treatment house during that time, and did some work at Sober Living by the Sea in order to fulfill the hours needed for my certification. I wasn't looking for a career in the field. It was just something I wanted to have - because I'm fascinated by the disease of addiction, because I love addicts and love helping them, and because David had expressed an interest in possibly doing something on his own someday - maybe in retirement. So I left the field but continued to educate myself on the latest studies and findings in regard to the disease.

Seems God often brings people to us who are in a place of need. That has always been a part of our lives, it has been our ministry - even after we left a life of professional ministry. In fact, maybe more so. This past year, several people contacted me for advice on loved ones and friends who were struggling with addiction. In each case, an intervention would have been the most effective way to reach the person. I suddenly began to wonder why I wasn't doing interventions. It was actually something I'd considered before leaving the field but never pursued.

Well, I called David and he got on the phone with a friend of his who is an interventionist. His friend offered to mentor me and allow me to co-facilitate some interventions with him. We worked together for a few months then I decided to go on my own. I cannot begin to document all that's happened in such a short period of time, but suffice it to say, I am convinced that everything I have ever done in my life has been leading up to this moment in time, to this venture in my life. God's affirmations have been so constant, so evident. Never have I experienced anything like this.

It's all very new but very exciting, and I just keep following the path as God reveals it to me. I look forward to all that 2009 holds for me and my family. There have been so many things happening, and it feels like we've come out of a dark dark winter of our lives, and spring is blooming in us! We can never imagine how God will get us to these places. It truly is almost always darkest before the dawn. But man, when the dawn breaks, it's almost blinding.

I am so grateful for all we've experienced because it is only in the challenges of our lives that God can grow us into the people He wants us to be. There will be more challenges for we never "arrive" - not on this plain - we live on a journey. And the journey is glorious even in its difficulties. We are blessed to have a family who walks it together, holding on to one another.