Patchwork Festival

Long Beach Patchwork Festival...We're going...you go too, and we'll see you there!!!

God is God

I have a dear friend whom I've known since high school but has only become dear to me in recent years as we've connected again on, of all places, Facebook. Dean and I never knew we were so like-minded until this newfound friendship sparked online. He posted a You Tube video of Joan Baez singing this song. You can go here and view the video but the lyrics are so significant, I just wanted to post them here on my blog. So simple a message, and so so true.


God is God

I believe in prophecy.
Some folks see things not everybody can see.
And, once in a while, they pass the secret along to you and me.

And I believe in miracles.
Something sacred burning in every bush and tree.
We can all learn to sing the songs the angels sing.

Yeah, I believe in God, and God ain't me.

I've traveled around the world,
Stood on mighty mountains and gazed across the wilderness.
Never seen a line in the sand or a diamond in the dust.

And as our fate unfurls,
Every day that passes I'm sure about a little bit less.
Even my money keeps telling me it's God I need to trust.

And I believe in God, but God ain't us.

God, in my little understanding, don't care what name I call.
Whether or not I believe doesn't matter at all.

I receive the blessings.
That every day on Earth's another chance to get it right.
Let this little light of mine shine and rage against the night.

Just another lesson
Maybe someones watching and wondering what I got.
Maybe this is why I'm here on Earth, and maybe not.

But I believe in God, and God is God.

Surrender Interventions - Dirk & Bj

When I first set out on my own as an interventionist, I had lunch with a precious friend of mine, Jana Tufty. Jana went through treatment at Sober Living by the Sea with David as her case manager. She will tell you David saved her life. David will tell you Jana was a pain in the ass (and Jana will agree) but these two had a special bond. I had the privilege of getting to know her too, and I instantly loved her. When I went to work for the Pat Moore Foundation, Jana was coming out of several months of treatment and wanting to get started in the field. I hired her as a case manager. The rest is history. Jana is one of the most well-connected people in the field of treatment that I know, and loved by everyone who knows her.

So when I sat down at lunch with Jana, within an hour, she had given me three pages of phone numbers. People who would help me get connected, offer me referrals, mentor me, educate me...the list was ridiculous. One particular name had stars all around it. That name was Dirk Eldredge. "You HAVE to call Dirk. You're going to love him. He's going to love you! Seriously...call Dirk."

Well, I didn't call Dirk. Dirk's an interventionist, and he's one of those people that when you mention his name, people smile. Everyone loves Dirk. So I'm not sure why making that call was so hard....maybe the idea of asking a stranger to mentor me? I don't know...but I kept putting it off.

One day, I'm at a hospital admitting a client after an intervention, and I get a text from Jana: "Did you call Dirk yet?"

"No but I promise I will as soon as I leave here, and thank you for kicking my ass about it."

I left Dirk a message as I was leaving the hospital that day. He called me back a few hours later, and I knew instantly why Jana had pushed this so hard. He was the sweetest man on the phone. He offered to take me to lunch, and we set it up at one of my favorite places - Cafe La Strada on 2nd St. in Belmont Shores.

I arrive, get a table and wait. And wait. I text him. No response. I call and he is devastated. He forgot our lunch. BUT he had a really good reason. His wife had been in the hospital, and he was with her. My respect for him grew more.

We rescheduled for the next day, same place, same time, and he arrived with a huge bouquet of flowers, met me with a huge hug, and I'm pretty sure our butts were barely in the chairs before both of us knew we were going to be friends for a lifetime.

As of March 9, 2009, Dirk and I are partners. This is a match truly made in Heaven. God has so powerfully revealed to us that He wants us to work together that the phone literally started ringing and our business began to grow within moments of our sealing the deal.

We've met each other's families, pretty much...he's yet to meet Josh, and I still need to meet Chase (his oldest child). Stacy and I, in Dirk's words, are two peas. David and Dirk are crazy about each other. And I have found a friendship that I can hardly describe.

I am so grateful - both to my Papa (God) and to Dirk for this gift. Every day God reveals Himself to us, and anticipating what He has in store is almost enough to take your breath away. What an adventure!!! It's exciting and scary and I'm loving every second of it!
_______________________________________________________

Before we decided to work together, Dirk downsized his office. He keeps lamenting that --- I love the coziness of it. It's not like we spend a lot of time there. We're always on the road, and that seems to be where the magic happens anyway. (Every time we get in the car together, the phone rings with potential interventions.) We were sitting on the couch working on some stuff the other day, and Dirk looked out the window and said, "It feels like we're sitting in a tree fort."

That's our view from the tree fort.

In a few days, our new website will launch. You can check it out at www.surrender-interventions.com

Nanny's back...

So now that you've finished my novel and caught up with the last 15 months of my life, I thought I'd include some pictures of the newest addition to our family.

When Lyndsea married Chad, we were all so excited to have a little brown baby some day. Who could have imagined our family genes were so strong? Dylan, early on, was a reincarnation of her Uncle Josh. As you can see by these pictures:















Now she's beginning to look more like her mama:

From Mama Beaj to Nanny B to Bj Hickman, Interventionist...what a year!

Well, this blog turned out to be about like every journal I ever started. Two pages in, I lose interest....

It's been over a year since I posted last, and my what a year it's been!

I started out 2008 doing trade shows with my friend, Trish, who was launching a new business called Island Living Designs. We had so much fun, and the business has great promise. But as we all know, it turned out to be a bad year to try to grow a business!

In February, I came home from a trade show in Orlando. It just happened to be David's birthday. He picked me up at the airport and told me we were meeting Chad & Lyndsea at Ruby's for lunch. When we got there, they were waiting in their car in the parking lot. As Lynds came around the front of the car, the wind caught her top, and she smoothed it with her hand across her tummy the way a pregnant mom does. I instantly thought, "Oh my gosh, she's pregnant."

She handed David a small present, and when he opened it, we saw our sweet little granddaughter for the first time. The gift was a copy of her first sonogram with a cartoon bubble that said, "Happy Birthday, Grandpa" coming from the little peanut. Unlike Rachel, I could see it!!!

We went to dinner at Captain Jack's for David's birthday later that week. That's when Chad & Lynds got to tell Josh & Lacey they were going to be an uncle & aunt.

In April, we headed out to Victorville to watch our Joshua walk across the stage again, this time with his paramedic certification. Such an exciting time, and such a RELIEF to be finally done and able to spend time with Lacey and the rest of the family. It had been such a long journey, and I'm so proud of how committed he was to the whole process. I don't think anyone outside of the field knows what a firefighter/paramedic goes through to get to their career. It's truly grueling.

Lyndsea's pregnancy was so much fun. I loved my pregnancies, and watching Lyndsea go through that experience brought back all the feelings and emotions I had experienced as a young mom. Lynds loved it too, and her pregnancy mirrored mine almost exactly, including how she carried the baby. While I was in Chicago for a show with Trish, David was at Fidler with the kids watching a Laker game. During an exciting moment, the boys yelled and the baby leapt for the first time.

Then on Mother's Day, we had our traditional brunch with Chad's mom and sister at West Bay Cafe in Sunset Beach. David and I went with the kids to Fidler. Josie came over to hang out, and while the guys watched Transformers, the girls hung out in the guest room/soon-to-be-nursery going over details for Josie's June wedding. Earlier we'd been talking about names for the baby. Marley (after Bob) was out, and it was pretty much down to Olivia, Miah, and Dylan (after Bob).

Lyndsea was lying back on the bed with 'bellyphones' on her tummy. The baby was listening to Bob Dylan when suddenly Lynds jumped and said, "Oh my gosh! Did you see that?!" The baby had bumped and it was visible on the outside for the first time. We started yelling for Chad to come in there, and he put his hand on her belly. The following exchange is a story this baby will hear throughout her life:

Lyndsea: "She's listening to Bob!" Chad: "Are we going to have to name her Marley?" Lyndsea: "No! Dylan!"

Chad: "What song?" Lyndsea: " 'How Does It Feel?' "

We were all busting up at that! And of course, you all know by now, Dylan is her name. It was such a prophetic moment. I mean, Lynds was just clarifying it was Bob Dylan, not Bob Marley. And seriously? 'How Does It Feel?' Oh, it felt amazing.

They got through summer with a blow-up pool to soak in when the heat was just too much. We had lots of fun times together as a family, watching her belly grow. And Lynds would willingly show it to any of our friends. It was great. Fourth of July, everyone sat around waiting to feel her move.

Lynds had three showers and got pretty much everything a growing family could possibly need. Lacey and Rayanne hosted a beautiful and so so fun girls affair at Jenny's house. It was perfect! And so good to see Jayelle again after so many years.

Josie threw a couples shower in the back yard at Fidler. This was a blast. Tons of skaters, and the highlight of the day was the onesie-painting event. We provided the onesies and fabric pens, and the guests applied their talents. Dylan ended up with over 30 one-of-a-kind pieces of art to wear!

September 10 - 3:35am - my phone rings. I have distinctive rings set up for when my kids and David call, so I instantly knew it was Lynds. I thought she'd tell me she'd had the first signs of labor. First thing I hear when I answer, "My water broke." They were already on their way to the hospital. I threw some stuff in a bag, threw on some clothes, and headed to Hoag. I can't even describe to you what it felt like to make that drive.

I had the privilege of being with Chad and Lyndsea in the birthing room during labor. My little girl has always had an inordinate fear of pain. When she was young, getting a shot took two nurses, me and a doctor to hold her down. You would have thought we were torturing her. She's never really suffered any serious injuries so she had developed this perception of pain that didn't truly match what she was actually feeling. Despite this, she had decided, based on what she and Chad felt was best for the baby, that she would do a natural childbirth if she could possibly stand it. She was prepared to accept an epidural if it got too difficult but she wanted to try without it.

Her real contractions...the ones she could really feel...started about 7:25am. Dylan was born at 5:04pm. Lyndsea's contractions were 2 minutes apart the ENTIRE TIME. With each contraction, she closed her eyes, relaxed her body, and breathed through it. Chad and I held her hand, and when she needed it rubbed her back. At some point, that got uncomfortable for her but she always managed to get through the contractions better if she could just hold our hand. I really enjoyed working side by side with Chad. What a precious experience for me. The environment was serene. Lynds never made a sound. She was exhausted by noon but with each contraction, she just breathed through it. When she seemed to not be able to focus, we would talk to her and you could visibly see her gain control of the pain and follow through. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

The nurses and doctors were absolutely blown away. Lynds became quite notorious on the floor. When the baby nurse came in to prepare the area for her arrival, she looked at Lyndsea going through a contraction, then looked at the nurses who had been attending her all day, and said, "Oh my gosh." "WE TOLD YOU!" the other nurses replied.

At around 3pm, she was dilated to an 8 or 9 but the baby was posterior. The doctor came in and asked if she wanted to try pushing to see if the baby would turn on her own. Knowing that things can happen very quickly once you start pushing, I made my exit. The kids had decided they wanted to be alone together to bring their baby into the world. The next two hours felt like an eternity. That was the most difficult part but Chad says Lyndsea continued through it with the same stoic attitude.

When Chad finally came out and got us to meet our little pink bundle of Asian-eyed joy (yeah, she looked TOTALLY Asian at first), she was bombarded with an entourage: David & I, Chris (Gramma C), Josh and Lacey, Kelly, Emily, Toni, Rayanne, Blake, Crissy, Uncle Dude, and even Heidi and Charlie showed up (since Gramma was in ICU at the time). It was like the paparazzi had arrived. She was surrounded by flashing cameras. Lynds looked amazing.

Despite the fact this baby had long ago picked her own name, Chad and Lynds were still struggling with labeling her. We accompanied them to her floor before we left them for their first night together with their baby girl. The nurse in her room greeted Lynds by saying, "I've heard all about you!"

The next morning Lyndsea called me to tell me a nurse had come in and asked her what the baby's name was going to be so they could put it on her birth certificate. Not until then did they finally decide she was to be Dylan B Tim Tim. Lynds had always planned on giving her first daughter my mom's name (Bea) for a middle name. But Chad suggested that if she shortened it to just B, she could honor David's mom (Betty) as well. It wasn't until they told Chad's mom that they learned his grandmother, whose name was Elizabeth, had also gone by Betty.

Sometimes God is subtle about His presence. Other times, He reveals Himself so blatantly that you can't possibly deny it. There was a picture in their hospital room of a cove in Laguna that you could actually see from their window. In that cove was where Chad was baptized as a young boy! The day after Dylan was born, Chad went down to the nursery with Dylan for her hearing test. The older nurse who was performing the test said, "I had a Tim Tim baby many years ago. That's the only other time I've ever seen that name." Chad said, "Was it here at Hoag?" The nurse replied that she'd been at Hoag 30 years and it was in her earlier years there. Turns out it had to have been Chad.

So everything since then has been Dylan Dylan Dylan. She has flipped our little world upside down. We are so smitten with her, it's just plain stupid. Lynds is an incredible mama, and Chad her equal as a dad. Dylan knows she is adored, and adores her parents in return. You can go to Dylan's blog to see everything she's done in her little five and a half month life so far.

In the meantime, while we've been loving on her, I launched a new career. Years ago, I went to school - mostly for fun - to get my certification as an Addictions Specialist. I ran a women's treatment house during that time, and did some work at Sober Living by the Sea in order to fulfill the hours needed for my certification. I wasn't looking for a career in the field. It was just something I wanted to have - because I'm fascinated by the disease of addiction, because I love addicts and love helping them, and because David had expressed an interest in possibly doing something on his own someday - maybe in retirement. So I left the field but continued to educate myself on the latest studies and findings in regard to the disease.

Seems God often brings people to us who are in a place of need. That has always been a part of our lives, it has been our ministry - even after we left a life of professional ministry. In fact, maybe more so. This past year, several people contacted me for advice on loved ones and friends who were struggling with addiction. In each case, an intervention would have been the most effective way to reach the person. I suddenly began to wonder why I wasn't doing interventions. It was actually something I'd considered before leaving the field but never pursued.

Well, I called David and he got on the phone with a friend of his who is an interventionist. His friend offered to mentor me and allow me to co-facilitate some interventions with him. We worked together for a few months then I decided to go on my own. I cannot begin to document all that's happened in such a short period of time, but suffice it to say, I am convinced that everything I have ever done in my life has been leading up to this moment in time, to this venture in my life. God's affirmations have been so constant, so evident. Never have I experienced anything like this.

It's all very new but very exciting, and I just keep following the path as God reveals it to me. I look forward to all that 2009 holds for me and my family. There have been so many things happening, and it feels like we've come out of a dark dark winter of our lives, and spring is blooming in us! We can never imagine how God will get us to these places. It truly is almost always darkest before the dawn. But man, when the dawn breaks, it's almost blinding.

I am so grateful for all we've experienced because it is only in the challenges of our lives that God can grow us into the people He wants us to be. There will be more challenges for we never "arrive" - not on this plain - we live on a journey. And the journey is glorious even in its difficulties. We are blessed to have a family who walks it together, holding on to one another.

Brandon Sean McGuinness

This has been a busy week in so many ways. We learned on Wednesday evening that Brandon McGuinness had passed away. Brandon, who was 26 years old, had fought Hodgkins Lymphoma (and I do mean FOUGHT) for a number of years now. Brandon took cancer by the horns and battled like a warrior. And in the end, he actually won, if you want to get technical about it. It was pneumonia that took his life...not the cancer!

He started a company called F*CK CANCER which not only helped to fund his ridiculously high medical bills (in-hospital chemo and radiation, a bone marrow transplant, etc.), but also raised awareness about cancer and even helped some other cancer victims. Brandon's sarcastic humor was his salvation...he never lost his dignity, he never lost his indomitable spirit, and he was so truly an inspiration throughout his illness.

We met Brandon when he was 13 years old and Lyndsea's boyfriend. At Lynds' 14th birthday party at the beach, as we were loading things up in the car, we were in the parking lot and Toni (L's best friend) grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "If you turn around right now, you'll see your daughter get her first kiss!" And I did! It was precious. It was Brandon's first kiss too.

He was the perfect first kiss. Their relationship didn't last that long but they remained friends to the end. And we all just loved Brandon. You couldn't NOT love Brandon.

Then, at 19, when Lynds and Chad came together, they learned they'd been on the cusp of one another's lives for years. They had some very close mutual friends (how they never managed to all be together at the same time prior to 19 is beyond me!). Brandon Sean McGuinness was one of those friends. Chad's friend and Lyndsea's friend. What a blessing.

Wednesday there will be a memorial service and a paddle-out. Brandon's ashes will be scattered in the surf at 14th Street where he lived and surfed most of his life. It's going to be an incredibly emotional time but we're going to get to reconnect with people we love that we haven't seen in a while. Leave it to Brandon to be the one to bring us all back together.

I already miss you, Sean. Your sweet, mischievous smile is seared in my memory. You touched more lives than you even knew. Our love for you runs deep and is eternal. I'll see you on the other side.

Rest in peace...you've earned it.

Welp, Abby...you asked for it, so here I am! I don't have anything to write right now but I'll come up with something soon! Love!